Well, that was the County Council election, that was !  Hope you didn't blink and miss it !!

One strange, little 'factoid' to emerge from the figures .. some 655 of us voted for the 'status-quo' .. and some 1,602 of us voted for a change .. and we've got .. ?

The same again !!  Yes, .. that's 'democracy' in action for you !!

"That was the county election, that was; it's over; let it go .. "

What a lovely display will greet the point-to-point race-goers at their next meeting .. when the Wheatland Hunt host their annual meeting at Chaddesley race-course (now 'there's posh' !)

The growing season is in full growth and, sprouting out of the hill behind Winterfold, is as fine a crop of "Polys" as you could ever wish to see. Why, its enough to bring a tear to the eye of visitors from Herefordshire as the display reminds them of home.

The trouble - if there is any - is that they aren't 

They're more like Punk singer Marianne Elliot-Said, former vocalist with X-Ray Spex, who died, 26th April 2011, at the age of 53, after suffering from cancer .. and the farmer's favourite synthetic aromatic polymer (C₈H₈)_n

"Outrage"                                                  "Shock, horror"                                               "Wanton desecration"

So, just having read "Constable Kate's" threat, what happens next ? Why, the vandals strike again !!
This time they destroy the "twinning" sign on the village notice-board at the foot of Briar Hill.

"An outrage" .. I hear you cry .. as well you should ! 
"Wanton desecration" might be something else which passes your lips (if you're not busy supporting the livelihoods of our esteemed landlords).

We will now find ourselves, most probably, the subject of gossip and conjecture, derision and ridicule at 'the local shop for local people', at H.Briss & Son Butchers, the St Mary Of Bethlehem hospital, and at the Windermere B&B.

As for what chubby people might say .. quick, pass me the cotton wool balls !!

Having just read the latest Police bulletin on the <News> page, one wonders just whom allowed "Chavs" to penetrate this far into Chaddesley in the first place ? Why does the Council allow such things to happen ? Why have we got 'people like those' sullying the sacred pavements of our High Street ?

Still "Constable Kate" has got everything in hand .. we are able to rest assured and sleep soundly in our beds at night (at least, we ought to be in our own beds .. "You lucky people").
She's 'threatening' them that (and we quote) she will "deal with these offenders appropriately".

Now, sitting in the front bar parlour of our locals, warming our hands round our pints (as we do) we're running a sweepstake as to just what should happen to these errant sproggs. So far folks have been waving castrating shears in the air and mentioning that a minute or two (or more) under the ice in the local sheep-dip might go some of the way to curbing their excesses.

"Now, don't you be a-worryin', Kate, you young thing; us'll be at hand to give them sproggs a proper education-like ! Just letus know ?"

"You lucky people" - catchphrase of Thomas Edward Trinder CBE ( 24 March 1909 – 10 July 1989)
 - also 'If it's laughter you're after, Trinder's the name'

Zap ! Bam !! Pow-ie !!!
It being the first day of April, those living outside the village wonder just who will be getting their tights in a twist as villagers (accompanied by a friendly Robin or two) search for .. "The Joker" .. ?

"Pow-ie" .. indeed !!

Our forefathers looked forward to April and the beginning of Spring.

Then it was their fancy to take the hands of the Virgins and Young Maidens and lead them into the woods and there introduce them to the concept of fecundity.

Nowadays, we change the sparkplug in the lawnmower because our wives have heard somebody-else break ranks and start cutting their lawn (usually under instruction from their wife).

Hey-ho .. and they call it progress  .. .. !!

The first-day of Spring.
"Spring ?" .. I hear you question !        "How do you know it's Spring ?"

Why .. because of the number of glossy brochures and questionnaires which arrive at this time of year from Parish, District and County Councils all trying to justify their Council Tax demands and gloss-over their inability to deliver on their statutory obligations.

Anyone fancy a 'winter' holiday ?

Catch the last snow .. go a little 'off-piste' .. stare down at the inhabitants of remote villages from lofty mountain peaks .. sup a little egg-nog with rustic locals whose speech you cannot understand ???

Why .. you can forget all about going abroad .. just drag your skis up Walton Hill and do all those things in Clent !

(Still covered with sufficient snow)

"Enough of footpaths ! " I hear you cry .. so let us move-on to roads, instead.

The Parish Council - at Stone, this time (why is it that Parish Councils are such a fruitful source of gossip .. ?) are protesting .. that, having set up a 'speed awareness' device on the main road (A448 - foot of Stone Bank) to 'warn' motorists of the 40mph limit on that bottom bend .. the 'gun' is going-off all too frequently !

Well, lads .. of course it will .. when you have the 'trigger-beam' pointing way down the main road .. and 'clocking' people when they're 'miles' away and driving in the section which is subject to the 60mph national speed limit .. !!!

Until they do something about it .. "Me-thinks the Council doth protest, too much !"

And now .. more about footpaths .. (and I quote from the Parish Council minutes)

"The Parish Council has reached agreement with the County Council about measures to improve the footpath to the school. 
Users of the path will know that it becomes very wet and muddy in parts !
Clearing the path provides only a temporary solution, so the Parish Council is funding some work to improve the worst stretch of path towards the school. This will include removing the surface layers and then  re-surfacing. Part of the footpath will have to be closed for up to a week whilst the work is being undertaken.
The Council hopes that this work will be completed before the New Year."

Oh excellent, virtuous Parish Council.

Only one problem .. this article refers to Belbroughton Parish Council !

News .. and it really is BIG news .. 
that Chaddesley is no longer a parish !  
the first time since the Middle Ages .. if not earlier .. .. We are now part of 'Kidderminster East'

Strange that .. we always though of Kidderminster as being West of us. 
Will the 'Parish' Council now have to change it's name ?

Today we mourn the passing of our old friend, Common Sense, who was our good friend and guide these many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were lost long ago by bureaucrats.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as .. knowing when to come in from the rain .. why the early bird catches the worm .. why life isn't always fair .. and that, maybe .. it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (do not spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer painkillers, to apply sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student, but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became ridiculed, churches registered as businesses and criminals got better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you could not defend yourself from a burglar in your home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense became confused when he read such injunctions as "This packet of nuts may contain .. nuts", and, at a fish-mongers, "This shell-food may contain .. shells".

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman, failing to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son Reason.
He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I am A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because few realised he was gone.
If you can't remember him .. you're in the majority .. and need do nothing.!

Please remember not to forget ..

"It's not true ........ it's only gossip !

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